Old friends...Welcome back.

So in the past few months my life has changed heaps.

It is now June and I can't even believe how fast life has gone since finishing year 12 in October.

I am now a kind-of-sort-of-proper adult and I like it. It fits. It feels right.

I had this moment the other day where I saw myself in the reflection of a building as I was walking to Reach....I was like 'Hey, you grew up nice. You're a big girl now...and I like you.'

It felt really fucking cool to be able to think that.

There have been some crazy changes going on in my life, I recently quit Sportsgirl, I've worked with them for about 14 months and it feels weird to be leaving them...but then again, it feels right. 

I'm going on to work for my sister in her new business venture. Super exciting. A really edgy, fun and welcoming cafe in Melbourne's South Eastern Suburbs near the beach. This has been a dream of hers for a really long time and I am so excited to be supporting her in this.

I miss you Adam. I love having Meaghan in my life more. Olivia is in my life so solidly and it's nice to not be working around school timetables now. Emily has new shit going on all over the place and it makes me so excited for her. Amy has got stuff going on to and I feel she is about to start some new adventures of her own. 

I am super in love with my family at the moment. They're so amazing. It weirds me out how incredible they are. There is just SO much love. But it's not fake, we still fight, hate on each other, bag one another out and be shifty as...but we don't go to sleep without saying sorry. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I am still a single lady. I don't mind it. I have so many incredible examples of love around me that relying on one relationship to 'complete' me seems really pointless. So I'm happy to just keep getting satisfied by other forms of love. That sounds wrong...but you know what I mean...yeah?

I'm going to be doing some cool shit with fashion, photography and my life in general in the next few months.

Including moving out, becoming part of a really cool gang, making lots of awesome food, op-shopping the shit out of melbourne, running cool stuff with Reach and making new friendships with all kinds of people and things.

Wanna join me? All aboard the fun express train.

xx missed you

pink and gold chyeahhh

pink and gold chyeahhh by fieldsofcharlotte featuring noir jewelry

down time

I just left the house for two whole hours without a phone. It was so weird. I, and the rest of the world have become so accustomed to been contactable, in the know, and only a phone call away.

It was so refreshing to have no distractions. No 'facebook', 'texts', 'chats', and no 'restaurant story'...I didn't even know what the time was. It was really nice.

I need to do this a little bit more.

Keep it real kids.

strange things sparkle

I am just waiting to sparkle. Or maybe I am waiting to be strange which will allow the sparkle.

Yeah, I think I forgot how to be strange for a while.

So this is me been strange.

hey.

Sparkle tbc.

Stay watching.

I Follow

Very Excited cause ma gal Lykke is back on the scene.

Normal

Nor-mal

No-rmal

Norma-l

N-ormal

Hor-mon-al

I'm feeling a lot less hormonal and a lot less..."normal" now.

That estrogen gets me hardcore.

I am figuring things out step by step. I'm getting excited about going overseas. I am finally starting to get my groove into the year. I am going to be on Disney which is quite funny. I am figuring things out and trying to become more in tune. I'm ok with things I wouldn't usually be which is kinda cool. I'm doing cool shit and I am finally getting excited about the scary things that are happening in 2011!

Come on...jump on board! ;)

summer 101

I am listening to Daft Punk, just ate a drumstick, went cruizin with E-mac and K-mac (da twinz), it feels like a melbourne summer now.

I am so weird at the moment. I can't even explain it. My brain, heart and soul aren't talking right now. I need them to pull their heads in and sort their shit out. I am floundering out here!

I don't know whether to dance, cry, laugh, rage, eat, jump, dial-a-friend, swim, vomit, run, sleep, write, read or just be.

Maybe I'll write a list.

1. Be silly.
2. Push the boundaries.
3. Stop been a pussy.
4. Find your log book - 120 hours betches.
5. Be a man. Do the right thing.

I need to do something creative. Now.

I don't know what to feel.

one more chance

I just want a summer romance yo.......

maybe I need to go to Miami for that....

Or see a horror film?

Thanks mate....

It's interesting the way things pan out.
The way the cookie crumbles.
The way it happens.

But it always does.

I am deferring this year. I am going to go overseas this year. I am going to work a lot this year. I am going to have a lot of fun this year. I am going to get creative this year. I am going to learn about myself this year.

That is all well and good....and let's not lie...it does excite me.

But, I've also done a lot in 2010 that I am fairly happy with, things that have allowed me to do the things I want to do this year.

This is me saying....thanks 2010. You were great, and I owe you a lot. I know we can't see each other again....but thanks for been my friend, and thank you for teaching me many life lessons that would not have been possible without the circumstances that you threw at me. I really needed those reality hits, dance floors, conversations, tears, smiles and moments of freedom.

I am so grateful for what 2010 was. I am so excited for what 2011 will bring.

I just cleaned and moved around my room. Life feels new again. Not good, not bad. Just new and potential filled.

Hey 2011, can I buy you a drink?

sunday night feast

I will never fall out of love with black and white.

I will always love...

Grass

Day Sleeps

My Bed

The feeling of my bank account been full

Sunday Nights

Been cared for

Dancing with my brothers and sisters

Feeling young

Admiring Beauty and appreciating the good things...and ignoring the bad

I am no tortured soul.

Layyydeeeez,

Hey there friends. Hope y'all have been doing well. I have been working a bit, going to tassie a bit and of course dancing too much.

I am doing the monthly 'stop-day', where I stop, contemplate life and stare at my wardrobe for too long.

It's truly what keeps me grounded.

This day is a day of forgiveness, maturity and soul loving.

It sometimes ends in tears, sometimes a wardrobe make over, sometimes a nice text message, sometimes clean hair but always a clearer Charlotte.

Today I just am.

It's nice to be that...sometimes.

{ + }

Sometimes things make sense again.

One conversation, one hug, one phone call, one 'i love you'.

Mostly....some people make EVERYTHING make sense again.

Refreshed. Even though it is 1am.

sooooo longgggggg

keep melbourne warm for me....

jay kay

this is me excited....

The god is back...

in one week

  

chain smoking

I don't smoke. I never will call my self a 'smoker'. I know that, that is one addiction I will never succumb to.

On the other hand, boys, and boy attention for me, IS like chain smoking. It's a sick addiction that I am fully aware of. It's dangerous, fatal and all in all, just plain stupid.

I take after my elders and fall an idiot to a man's charm.

Dammit.

A cigarette is replaced with a dick. A set of lungs replaced with a heart. Cancer replaced with a broken heart. Again.

Chain smoking is very bad. Maybe the opposite sex is even worse for me.

stupid things suck

I want to just float away.

I want to drift away and take my clogs, a pen and paper, my bed and somebody to hug.

Except the problem is. I have no one to hug.

I have no one person to call 'mine'. I am looking around at all the photos that I have in my bedroom and they are all full of beautiful people in my life. My god, I love them so much. I really do.

But the reality is, they're not only mine. They have others too. They can't give me what I need right now. Even though they wish they could.

I think positively so hard, I try to push out to the universe what I want so hard, I believe so much that I deserve something good.

Then the 'wannabes' rip it all apart. They make me think I don't matter anymore. They forget me.

I don't want to be forgotten anymore.

I'm not as strong as the front I put up. But I do know that I'm worth more.

Listen to me, the bloody teenage story. Pathetic isn't it?

But I didn't make this blog for you. I did it for me.

closed eyes

I don't even know what to say.
I'm done. I'm free. I like cocktails. I miss some people. I need to find where I am at. I'm in love but can't justify it. I'm still hurting and I didn't know I was. I deserve more, or maybe I expect more. I care about you, maybe you forgot. I don't want to be forgotten. I am ready for a change. My life is forever different. I still feel so young. I just had this pang where I miss school. Fuck that's weird. I cry whenever I go to onesixone. I am so sick of been tested. Come and get me if you want me. If not. Fuck off. I can't be bothered caring anymore.

I sound like a brat. Somebody stop me. Please.

If you're reading this, you either:
a) understand every reference I have made in this post or
b) You are over me and are therefore judging me or
c) You're stalking me and aren't reading into any of this or
d) you don't really care.

Pick one for fun.

grrr

I CAN'T STOP THIS FEELING. I AM SUCH A GIRL. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

love affairs

I have had a typical 'Charlotte' week, where everything is sort of weird, wild and unexpectedly so too.

Lord Jesus help me - our neighbours are singing REALLY loudly in italian. People who are bi-lingual are so fucking annoying sometimes. (Liv that was a joke, I promise I wouldn't care if they were singing in french!)

1. So, my week hm....well exams, psych was effed, lets not talk about that. I worked quite a bit - probably naughty, but hey, it pays the schoolies bills! I also had a job interview and GOT IT, I am entering into a part time position with my current place of work as of the 12th December! But still very exciting as I love my work! Hello adult world!

2. I have had a number of friends tell me about possible suitors for yours truly, the single lady herself! It makes me laugh and then dream crazily of the futures I will have with these yet-to-be-seen boys who 'would be perfect' for me. It pasts the time let me tell you!

FYI - neighbours are still singing.

3. I bought CLOGS - finally. My God, when did I post about these shoes? Months ago - I finally found time to purchase and I am in love. I have one blister after the first wearing of them but I am surviving purely because I love them.

4. I just sent my teacher practice work for my exam on monday and I got some positive feedback - now I can sleep knowing that I may NOT fail my classics exam. Ahhh that is GOOD news.

Besides, I kinda like my ancient greek friends, Medea, Agamemnon, Clytaemnestra, Leonidas, Themistocles, Pericles, Socrates, Plato, Oedipus, Jocasta and my favourite Aspasia. They go alright when they're not been shoved into my brain.

5. I am pretty happy right now. I'm so close to finishing and I can't hardly believe it.

See you on the other side dear friends.

Note: I do not promise to be sober the next time we meet... Just sayin'...

and yes, if you were wondering...I can STILL hear the neighbours...wait...I think they stopped.

Don't hold ya breath.

blurry blur blur

exams are sooooo weird.
You sit there, write and when you look back up the clocks hands have moved.

So weird.

THREE DOWN TWO TO GO.

Tuesday, you're so welcome to enter my life. So do so, please.

hardcorrrrreeee

what if I am destined to be a cat lady!

eek!

I want some real lovinnnnnnnnnn

psych!

All I am thinking about is freedom, freedom to dress up and go out, to be able to go out and have fun, to be free to do what I want to do and not feel guilty.

My body and head is so tired.

lol jkz...I'm awesome.

: |

on the fringe...

I just think that the future is going to be a lot clearer.

differences

Sometimes people are just different.

Maybe we're just different and that's the problem?

Don't get me wrong, I like that. But maybe there's a line and you've just crossed it. Or maybe I did?

Who fucking knows?

I'm not ok yet. Sorry. 

100%

my bed looks really similar to this right now...like a cloud.

I love sleep, it is so refreshing and healing.

I'm really quite in love with the idea and the reality of my bedroom, it's comfortable, mine and loves me. It reflects me, it houses my clothes, books, desk, favourite things, but most importantly, my bed.

I can't wait to wake up and know that nothing needs me. No exam, no e-mail, no school, no alarm, no job, no appointment, no interview, no phone call, no deadline, nothing except for my bed and my free time.

This is far fetched, this little dream, but it could be a reality. In the near future - even just for a day.

I currently have the house to myself and I just had this horrible feeling that I missed the 'race that stops a nation' - whoopsie daisy - my day dreaming interrupted Melbourne's biggest day....so awkz.

Hope you're healing, hope you're dreaming, hope you're where you need to be.

Remember that there really is no where but up...you choose.

Sending love, whenever you need it, sending peace because I can, and smiling because there's nothing else left to do.

I'm so close to freedom.

One week today.

The Social Network

Saw it on friday night and absolutely loved it.

Beautifully edited, coming from a media perspective - I desperately want to now study it.

I loved the whole thing...even the some-what animosity-filled, depressing and charming characters that starred in the film. It takes a little while, but you're drawn to them and want to figure out all the hidden meanings in their actions.

It was scary that this story is real, well most of it and that the real heartache, anger and excitement was all part of the creation of the monster that is now 'facebook'.

The editing was superb - I think the story would have been pretty boring if it wasn't edited the way it was - seamless, exciting, and left you wanting more.

The film really could be for any viewer, you don't need to like, use or even know of facebook to understand the human condition and understand this film.

I loved especially the conversation it sparked between myself and my family, good films tend to do that - so I guess it was pretty fucking cool.

do it - see it - love it

hello, you're cool...

This was a gift at the end of this rainy dayyyyyyyyyyy....

the detox is shit right now.

you know what...

What's mine is mine. Not theirs.

My life doesn't go in the gossip magazines because it's not that interesting.

I learn more and more each day - from not reading the trash.

So much to relish in when you focus on your own life and your own goals.

This cover is absolutely divine. If the magazines you read look like this, don't stop reading, they sure do look filled with super special things...

who wouldn't want to 'frug' that fat away? heh heh - oh 50's people...you so funny.

Peace is the answer.

not even joking...

this is a painting....how incredible!

yowzaaaaaa

This is one of my most loved maneuvers in the water, the back flip.

I can't wait to do these in summer, all day, without a care in the world.

Soon, very soon.

Painting: Sarah Harvey

the things I do...

I just googled myself instead of last minute english studying...this is why I hate myself.

It wasn't even interesting. The real me only came up in the school newsletter. God dammit.

I'm a virgin who can't drive.

True bloody story.
Everyone is falling in love. I want to.
I want to get my license and drive!
I want to finish my exams. But then I don't want to either because then I'll be scared.
I want money to afford all the beautiful things I find.
I want to go op-shopping.
I want to go on a holiday.
I want to stop been such a whiner in this blog.
I want dinner.
I want to be motivated to study.
I want to smile and lie in the sun.

Is that so much to ask?

baby girl is eighteen in a matter of hours...

i love us.

lets dance.

I'm excited for...

- going out with you to all of da clubzzz

- dancing lots to our favourite tunes

-  having the best summer of our lives togezza

- getting our festival heads out for some fun

- starting our newly found freedom (in a matter of days) together

- loving each other!