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Very Excited about this little number....noticed the obsession with Robyn lately...hmm so have Em and I...as every fucking song relates to our lives. Grrrr.

“Can you wipe the slate clean?” that’s what she asked me in my English class. I replied in my head a very stubborn ‘No’. Of course you can’t wipe the slate clean completely. When you spill spaghetti Bolognese down your white shirt do you think that tomato-y-goodness is going to say goodbye after one wash? No. The same applies in real life. You need many washes through the machine, and even then enough is never enough. Sometimes that stain is there for good, irrevocable damage that will never be able to be wiped clean.

Sometimes that’s the way I feel in life. As though every move I make is leaving behind a trace, as though every choice I make, a mark it left on the world, it's there to stay and once it’s out in the open I can’t take it back. I guess this is the truth in some respects.

If I step on a leaf and hear it’s autumn crunch beneath my foot, I can’t put it back together again.

If something bad about someone else was said and they overhear, the damage is done. They may remember that one phrase forever.

If I move to fast, too slow…it could make the world of difference to the rest of my life.

If I don’t stop at the lights for long enough I could be dead.

If I don’t stay at the party late I might miss out on kissing him goodnight.

If I fly on this plane I might plummet into the ocean.

If I dream bigger I might not make it.

If I press this doorbell, she might answer. If I don’t…she mght not.

All these things that once they’re there, they can’t be sucked into a black whole to make it better again, no hitting the rewind bit to change the outcome. The messes we make are there to stay, you can’t always wipe them clean. However, you can do your best to try and heal them, if you're determined enough.

I am constantly sitting back and watching the world go by. Sometimes I am dying to participate, and other times, I am happy to watch the faces of others pass me by. Washing over me with a quiet smile that can mean whatever I want it to mean is one of my secret delights, it’s cheap, always entertaining and allows my thoughts to flow.

I often wonder what they’re thinking about, the days they’ve had, the mistakes they’ve made, the triumphs they’ve had and where they’re going. Are they in love? Are they lonely? Are the happy? Do they have meaning? Will we meet again?

Although the thought of me having ultimate power over the small things in life that could ultimately have a giant effect on the plant frightens me, it also excites me to the core. I dream that offering my smile to one of the suits who pass me on the train, or the mother with the pram, the punk on the stairs or the girl who could be me, that I made a small contribution to their day, a sign of peace that helps to wipe the slate they carry, clean.

Found an old context piece from the start of the year. Made me think. Thank you self! Hope you enjoyed it.

I want things to be a bit easier right now. Everyone wants too much of my emotional strength...I don't have it right now. Stop testing me universe.